Lost at Sea Since ’77: Seattle Mariners (Ep. 3)

Hello, I’m Trevor, your associate director of maybe next years. And I’m Zack, vice president of crushing defeats. And this is the Misery Sports Company, the official podcast home for fans of terrible teams. If you’ve ever scored as many points as your team while sitting on the couch, then you belong at MSK. That’s right. Every week we drag ourselves through the misery of being Browns and Titans fans, staying true to our one goal. Just make it through another rough week of sports and maybe get a laugh out of it along the way. Hopefully. Uh, last episode, we shine the spotlight on Raiders Nation, digging into the ups and downs of one of the NFL’s longest suffering fanbases. And safe to say, being silver and black has not been easy. No, it is not. Today, we’re kicking things off with the weekly earnings report, as we usually do. Then we’ll highlight some moral victories. Take another close look at a fan base brought to you by Trevor, and then finish strong with a pep talk and what’s ahead. But first, a quick word from our totally very real sponsors. The only ones actually showing up in prime time for us. Zach, take it away. This segment is brought to you by Big Game James performance pills guaranteed to shrink when the lights get brightest. Trusted by Penn State fans every November. Ah, big, big shout out to them for, uh, for backing us up. Something our teams haven’t figured out. Uh, something our teams haven’t figured out how to do. We actually appreciate you. Yeah. Thank you so much. Big game. James. So let’s jump into our weekly recap. So this is where we crunch the numbers, uh, on our two latest and least profitable investments. The Cleveland Browns and the Tennessee Titans. All right, well, let’s open up the books and see what kind of profits the Titans manage this week. OOP! I opened up and it’s cobwebs. Uh. It’s sadness. It’s nothing. I’m dead inside. Uh, this week was the zero and three Titans versus the zero and three Houston Texans. And holy cow, was it one for the ages. Just a winnable game, right? Oh, and three. I mean, come on. Sure. I talked last week about the Texans having two of the winningest pass rushers on their team. Uh, two in the top five. So that was fun. And I will say cam only got sacked twice so. Okay. Progress. Progress. Not bad. Um got the ball off the jump. Got down for a field goal. And I feel like such an idiot because week one, I was like, oh my gosh, Joey Slye is just nailing. Fifty three, fifty five, fifty six like this dude’s automatic. Immediately shanked a forty one yard field goal later in the game. Shanked a forty three yard field goal. Not great. Um. So I don’t even know where to start. Um, I did say that cam only got sacked twice. That was on on his way to a ten of twenty six for one hundred and eight yard game where he had the absolute lowest QBR. Uh, in the league. Thanks to our stat guy Zach, for finding that the thirty third lowest QBR in the league, which means that the fill in for the Ravens after Lamar got hurt had a better QBR than our starting quarterback. So just absolute garbage. Uh, the Bo Hardegree experiment was a mistake. Uh, we should not Uh, somehow handing off play calling duties made things worse, and I didn’t think it could get worse. It was terrible from start to finish. Cam had a rough game. Uh, did not have a pick six, so that was an improvement, but did have some bad decisions. Had a couple fun passes. Everything about it was terrible as we lost twenty six to zero. Uh, did not score against the Texans who are in our former city. Try to claim a lot of the, you know, lineage that the Titans like to say, well, this is our franchise. But really we know it’s Houston’s, but it doesn’t matter. Everything was terrible. The only bright spot was a hilarious sack of CJ Stroud, who we’re both big fans of from Ohio State. But Jeffrey Simmons sacked CJ Stroud in literally two seconds. So he he did a swim move over the center and wrapped up Stroud before he could even turn around to hand the ball off. He had him flipped him over. It was great. Three of the Texans linemen went and blocked a single defensive end, uh, which has been a meme all week. So that was our one bright spot, and the rest of it was. So Brian Callahan now improves to three and eighteen as the Titans head coach. Yeah, I feel I feel like I’ve seen this season before. Um, it’s bringing me back to the Hugh Jackson era with the Cleveland Browns. And I don’t even want to go there, but, um, it’s just every every single side of the ball is making big mistakes. Um, you’ve got a phenomenal quarterback that you can’t protect, that you’re praying doesn’t get broken, right? You don’t want him to get happy feet. You don’t want him to think about, oh, I gotta get rid of this ball as soon as possible or I’m going to die. Yep. Um, that was Hugh Jackson. And there’s no leadership, right? There’s there’s nobody giving any accountability to the team, nobody trying to right the ship. Because at some point, you’re able to at least be competitive in games just based on competence. Yes. You know, attention to detail, toughness, discipline, which I think Mike Vrabel had. But, um, he did he did he did have um, he’s a little greedy with that roster. But he did he did have it. And like you mentioned accountability. The the one taking accountability this week was cam Ward. So during his press conference, um, after the game, he said if we’re keeping it a buck, we ass. So he just laid it out. We’re really bad. Like this is bad. And then we had Brian Callahan get in front of the microphone and say something to the effect of, you know, cam really is learning like the power of his words and like, you know, what he needs to say. I was like, shut up, dude. Like, at least he was being real and saying that this is terrible. Um, I don’t think Brian Callahan appreciated that. Um, but it was nice to see every single thing that cam Ward has said has been excellent. I have been so impressed with him. Uh, we have had quarterbacks come through who did not love the game and dedicate themselves fully to it. Jake Locker being up there. Uh, I love Jake Locker, but he just, you know, wasn’t obsessed with the game. Cam Ward is obsessed with the game and wants to do everything he can to win. And it’s so painful to see the clown show just the circus operating around him from an organizational standpoint. It is so sad and miserable to watch. Yeah, I just hope they give, uh, they give him some more protection. A couple of different options next year in terms of receivers. Um, I don’t like what I’m seeing from Brian Callahan right now. No, that is for sure. The Band-Aid needs to be ripped off, and I will give a pep talk to the one person who can rip that Band-Aid off later in the show. But it was very demoralizing seeing Brian Callahan show up for his Monday press conference and not be fired. But it is what it is. So that’s our earnings recap from the Titans. So Zach, why don’t you walk us through how the Browns managed to tank our balance sheet. Oh it’s it’s great. So you’ll remember we did our pep talk right. So every every week we give a pep talk. It might be to a player a coach a GM an owner someone on our team. We’re trying to, you know, just have a conversation. I think that we need to go outside of our teams at this point, because no one’s listening to us. We’re nobody’s hearing in our third episode at this point and, you know, nothing’s happened. So I spoke with coach Kevin Stefanski, the head coach of the Cleveland Browns, last week, and I just said, hey, Joe Flacco is hot, steaming garbage, and he’s done everything he can. He’s old, he’s slow, he’s bad. We need to move on from him as soon as possible. I believe your words were you and I could backpedal faster than Joe Flacco could run. I one hundred percent. I actually think I might have a chance. Crab walking. I think I could. I’m telling you, dude, I’m telling you, the man like a three step drop. Looks like a ten step drop. It’s like, when are you getting to the top of your drop, man? Just throw the ball. It’s just bad. So we did not. Right. And if you remember, we won the Packers game a couple weeks ago. Just pure luck. We didn’t score for the first fifty six minutes. The only reason we scored a touchdown is because our defense got the ball at the six, and we ended up scoring. So we don’t make the switch. Kevin Stefanski doesn’t do the right thing. And we got crushed at Detroit thirty four to ten. Uh Joe Flacco. Mr.. Mr. Flacco had two interceptions. One was awful. It was essentially an arm punt. I couldn’t even see a Browns player on the the television screen. It was literally two a Detroit Lions player. He also had a strip sack fumble. So he had three turnovers in this game. On top of that we gave up a punt return touchdown. And you know our defense played really well. They gave up two hundred and seventy yards. You would think with thirty four points that you know the defense finally crumbled. But they really didn’t. Um we just kept giving them opportunities to score and really short fields for them to do that. So you know I, I just don’t understand. I, I’ve seen this before, and I’ve seen it in many brown seasons where even if you have a bad team, your head coach still has important decisions to make, and he has decisions that will make or break certain seasons and your future. And we have no future with Joe Flacco. Yeah. And we’ll get into the, uh, the quarterback situation when we look ahead to next week. But, um, it looks like change is finally on the horizon. Yeah. It is just like I can’t keep track of the number of seasons. You and I have gone through this and have had competent defenses. The Browns have had some incredible defenses, and it’s just the most demoralizing version of an offense where they get no rest on the sideline, uh, very quick drives, really stupid calls. If you get to third and short, uh, to where they’re not converting. And it just like you can’t really ask more of the defense because they’re doing their job and with how much they have to play. Like they’re gonna give up points, like, just naturally. Like even a really good defense does that. And it’s just, uh, it just it’s painful to watch, like just an, a league average offense with especially the Browns defense. Now would be that would be a great team. Mhm. And both of our coaches right. So Callahan and Stefanski want to call the offense. How in the world are you a head coach getting ready throughout a week preparing the entire team and then scouting another team’s defense to figure out what your game plan is? There’s not enough time in a week. I mean, Andy Reid might be the only success story of someone who can call plays like that, but most people are going to struggle. So I don’t know. I’m at a loss. Yeah, and that’s what MSK is all about. Having a home for the lost and supporting us through this awful, awful life that we’ve created for ourselves. Yeah, it’s been great. So on the topic of terrible investments, Trevor, let’s hear a quick word from our next sponsor. Sponsoring this wonderful episode is Brian Callahan’s playbook. Bingo. Want to get your foot in the door with play calling, but aren’t sure how to make it happen? Well, now there’s Brian Callahan’s playbook. Bingo. Just grab the handle, spin the balls, match the lucky ball with the chart on your playbook. Oh, you got B11. That’s a flea flicker on second and fifteen. That’s gonna lose you eight yards, but. Oh, well, it’s not your fault because you’re just rolling the balls with Brian Callahan’s playbook. Bingo. You know, you you you actually, you brought up a really funny point. I just, you know, I went back and watched because we have the, you know, the NFL network app. And I went back and watched a few drives of the Titans. And I saw that flea flicker like you guys were moving Removing the ball. Why? It was it seriously felt like somebody just cranked a wheel and was like, oh crap, it says flea flicker. Sure, let’s do that. By the time the ball got back to cam Ward, someone was in his lap. He was like, what the hell is this? So dumb. And then there was a double reverse on another. There was a I swear there was a double reverse like two drives after that. And I’m like, you guys are driving. You are not. You don’t need to do this. Just call it play. There’s no sense of the momentum that exists. There’s no feel for it. It is just. And maybe it’s my fault because I sponsoring this great podcast. The first episode was the back of the playbook, and I guarantee you, the double, triple reverse and the flea flicker were on the back of the playbook. But don’t turn it over when you’re driving like you’re doing good. That’s the. We got to get back on track. Plays like what? What are you doing? There’s no feel. He has no feel. And I remember when we hired him, my Bengals fan. There’s a lot of Bengals fans in this area and they all laughed like dude, we hated him as the offensive coordinator. Like this is a terrible move. Like, oh here we are. Here we are. Yeah. So it’s it’s great. Oh, man. Well, now that our investors are happy, it’s time to hand out some just as real awards as we step into the world of moral victories. That’s right. Everyone at MSK underperforms. But company policy still says we hand out these awards. So our first employee of the week goes to the only person that I can give it to. Who? Which is Jeffrey Simmons. He had the only fun play of the game. He is the amazing player on the terrible team. And I know that we’ve watched that poor person exist on a lot of our teams over the years, and currently it’s Geoffrey Simmons and he has maintained a positive attitude. He works incredibly hard. He doesn’t have his big boy de’vondre sweat next to him because he’s hurt. And, uh, for your sack on CJ Stroud in a record breaking under three seconds. Congratulations to my employee of the week, Geoffrey Simmons. Congratulations, Geoffrey. You go. And because morale matters sort of we give out two. So Zach, who else is our employee of the week I am going to go ahead and completely skip the Cleveland Browns because they don’t deserve it. I’m going to go ahead and I’m going to look at uh the New York Football Giants. So they were another team. They started a rookie quarterback. Wait a second. Yep I’m seeing a theme here Jaxson Dart. He wasn’t you know phenomenal right. He wasn’t lighting the world on fire. But he threw for one hundred and eleven yards, zero interceptions. There you go. One touchdown and he ran for fifty four yards and another touchdown. Wow. So he was mobile. He bailed out his offensive line. He kept everything on schedule. He didn’t turn the ball over. And they won the game. Shocker. Congratulations, Jackson. Prayers up for Malik Nabers. Yikes. Yeah, that was bad. Good luck. Good luck. Jackson though. Uh, good luck to you, bud. And while those awards gather dust on the wall, let’s wander down to the mail room for this week’s best posts. Trevor, what do you have for us? Well, I dug through the mailroom this week, and I’ve got a few gems to share. Uh, I’ve got a couple entrants that I’ll share. And then one is a video that I will play. So our couple runner ups here, uh, first we have Logan Lampshade that just says Brian Callahan is a fucking terrorist. So that’s our first runner up. Our second runner up, uh, goes to at cool Ransom. Who says they should fire Zack Taylor and Brian Callahan together? It should be an event, a television special. And I totally agree. They should get the two franchises together because they’re buds. They? I have a theory that they were just bailed out by Joe Burrow, who they have gotten almost killed on a consistent basis, but not a lot of talent there, and it would be great if they could fire them together. I am now going to share, uh, our tweet of the week from Shawn Michaels, ninety eight. Congratulations to Shawn. Uh, who says Brian Callahan explaining why his winless football team just got shut out. And like, I tried to do a strategy and then I tried to do that strategy and it didn’t work. Oh, so that Brian guy why he is winless. Thank you. Shawn Michaels ninety eight. Oh my goodness. How about you Zach? Any treasures hiding in your pile? Well I have a few for you as well. So we will start out with at Prey or Die church was amazing prayer die. That makes sense. Sure. My Falcons won in that dumpster organization. The Cleveland Browns lost. Today was a good day, sir. Why? Why did you target? Who is preying on the Browns downfall? What a person, a Falcons fan. Like what? Why? Uh oh my gosh. That’s fine. Okay. Sure. Uh, yeah. Let him live. I don’t that’s a lot of hate for us. Yep. Um, at Reflog underscore eighteen, uh, in retaliation for Europe winning the Ryder Cup. So that was a golf tournament between the US and Europe, and Europe won this past weekend. In retaliation for that, the US is sending the Cleveland Browns to London. Cleveland shall be playing the Vikings in London. So yeah, they shellacked the US. That was bad. And I have one more. Unfortunately I have to bring your Titans into this. Oh God. At Jake and Ball the Tennessee Titans are now plus ten thousand to win the AFC South. This means if you bet ten dollars on the Titans to win their division, you will lose ten dollars. Oh, that was in my pile, too. That was gold. That’s so great. Yeah. Value pick. That’s a value pick. That’s a value pick. We’re here for it. Congrats to this week’s honorees. And yes, we promise your awards are actually on the way somewhere in the mail. Keeping the mail moving and our awards in the hands of the deserving is our next wonderful sponsor. Zach. Misery Sports Co is sponsored today by Bryce Young. Step stools need a boost in the pocket. So does Bryce. Step up. See you over the line and still complete nothing downfield. So will not help you complete it. Oh, man. Oh. Time to shift now into our deep dive. Uh, with this week’s host, Trevor. Trevor, what do you have for us? Thank you sir. Every week we dive into a different fan base that just can’t catch a break. Heartbreaks, collapses, curses, you name it. And this week, I have a team for you, Zach, that I would like you to guess. So I will give you some clues and see how long it takes you to guess the correct franchise. So this franchise has been around for forty eight years. I had a poster of them on my wall as a kid that had players from this team. Those players included Jay Buhner and Edgar Martinez. Hmm. Any guesses so far? Um. I have two. Okay. I am going to guess. The Cubs or the Mariners? One of those is correct. I’ll give you some more. Oh, I’ll give you some more context. I’m going to look at their best season that they had within this since two thousand because, uh, actually, this is their best season ever. Uh, their best season. I’m going to tell you their best players. Okay? Now, this one is this one’s not going to help you because this guy played for both teams. But Mark McLemore. So that doesn’t help okay John Olerud. Mike Cameron do you have a guess before this last one. No. Mhm. And their best player in their best season was none other than Ichiro Suzuki. It is the Seattle Mariners. Good job. Very nice. This week we are talking Seattle Mariners which if you looked at just recently things are great for the Mariners. They uh went on a hot streak. They won their division uh, hilariously against the Astros, who it’s so fun to root against. But historically that has been a franchise of misery. And those fans have suffered long. And so we celebrate their recent joy by looking at what they have gone through, uh, over the past forty eight years. So a quick deep dive into the Mariners. Baseball has been around in Seattle for really a really long time. They’ve had minor league teams since the eighteen nineties. So baseball has just always been around in Seattle. So finally in nineteen sixty five, they are going to get an a professional franchise. That professional franchise was going to move from none other than Cleveland, as the Cleveland Indians were going to move, uh, out to Seattle. But thankfully, that deal fell apart and nothing happened. So they eventually get a team in sixty nine, which they named the Seattle Pilots. But the the finances for this team were horrible. It was built on a house of cards. Financially, money was constantly moving and being borrowed, and it only lasted a year because it was such a poorly run franchise. So they get it for a year. Yay! It’s great, but then it’s moving and it is purchased and moved to Milwaukee, where they become the Milwaukee Brewers. And the person who purchased that team and moved them is none other than future MLB Commissioner Bud Selig. So there you go. It’s Bud Selig’s fault that they moved out of Seattle in sixty nine and went to Milwaukee. So the city is upset because they invested in a team that the owners could not support and eventually lost. And so the city, the county and the state all sue the American League. And it is a very long lawsuit. It lasts five or six years until nineteen seventy six. The city is so confident, though, that they will get baseball and that they’ll get an NFL expansion franchise that later becomes the Seahawks, that they build the King Dome, which is an indoor sports facility that houses both teams. So it can do baseball and it can do football. So the American League convinces them, hey, if you drop this lawsuit, we will give you an expansion franchise. If you just drop the lawsuit, they say, fine. And so in seventy six, they are awarded an expansion franchise to start in nineteen seventy seven. So the name The Mariners was chosen by officials after getting six hundred names submitted by fifteen thousand entrants in the name the team contest. This reminded me a lot of when you, uh, dove in to both the Raiders and the Browns, where the fans were choosing funny names. So nothing too crazy. Um, Seattle is a huge port city, and so, um, in a fishing town as well, a lot of commercial fishing right on the Puget Sound. And so mariners just made sense. Uh, it was a very popular choice. They actually had trouble tracking down the person who, uh, submitted it. And I don’t know that they ever did. Like, it. Took him a really long time. They kept looking for this person. They never did. But hilariously, the first GM of the Mariners thought that the name was, quote, lame and wanted to name it. He wanted to name the team the hustlers or the pros and dress them in all black. What, like a bunch of hitmen or something? It’s so dumb. Can you imagine a dude just, like, kicking in a door? He’s like rubbing his nose. The Mariners just ain’t gonna. It’s gotta be the hustlers. It’s gotta be the hustlers. Yeah. So then they would have said your Seattle hustlers. And out they, you know, trot and all black. It’s very dumb. So glad that it was the Mariners. Uh, first game. People are amped. This is in nineteen seventy seven and they lose seven zero to the angels. Um, and it just they finished sixth out of seventh in their division. Uh, this was before realignment. So these divisions were huge, but they were technically a half game out of last. So they didn’t finish last in their first season. But it was a really bad season. And frankly, they just suck for a really long time. Like they’re just bad. Um, some of their finishes like through from seventy seven, uh, into the nineties, they do not have a winning record in, uh, nineteen seventy eight, their second year, they lose one hundred and four games in eighty. They lose one hundred and three games in nineteen eighty three, they lose one hundred and two. So there’s one hundred and sixty two games. So in nineteen eighty three, they only won sixty of those and they lost one hundred and two. So right off the bat, they’re losing one hundred games, which is just so bad. So poor Seattle fans are just suffering with this absolutely incompetent team. It’s miserable. Everything is bad. But then in the nineties, things start to change a little bit and we finally get some glimmers of hope. Um, so their first winning season is in nineteen ninety one. This is two years after they’ve drafted Ken Griffey Junior in nineteen eighty nine, who I’m a big fan of. His swing is so smooth. Ken Griffey baseball for the Super Nintendo was such a great game. I played the absolute crap out of that game. Uh, loved Ken Griffey as a kid, uh, as part of a rebranding to try and and you and I, we’ve been through some rebrands. We’re slapping some lipstick on this pig and saying, look at this. We’re we’re different now. They changed their color scheme. If you look at the old pilots, it’s like, um, it was kind of like yellow and more of a royal blue. And it was a really cool. That’s what the Mariners ended up going with early on. And it’s retro and it’s really cool. And so in ninety three is when they do that like seafoam blue the the like kind of teal. So they do that in ninety three. They get Lou Piniella to come manage them from the Reds, who had just won a World Series with the Reds in ninety. And they, um, start to improve. So they have another winning record. It’s only eighty two and eighty, but this is coming from a team who’s used to losing one hundred games. Um, so we’re we’re improving. So in nineteen ninety five they go on a little bit of a run at the end. And mind you, from seventy seven to ninety five, we have not made the playoffs yet. Offset. So that is somebody who is born and then is old enough to vote and go join the military. During that whole time, while that person’s growing up, no playoffs at all. So we go on a little bit of a run in ninety five. So in September they go twenty five and eleven and they make the playoffs after a one game playoff against the angels. So tied with the same record it used to be I it might still be the same. I don’t I don’t watch enough baseball because man. But they win that one game playoff against the angels. This is great. Then they have to play the Yankees. They get to that. That’s in the Alds. They actually end up beating the Yankees in five games. Very epic game. And then they get to I don’t know if you’re tracking what year this is. This is nineteen ninety five. So in the ALCS they get to the Cleveland Indians where they then lose to them. Uh, I believe in six games. And then the Indians go on to play the Braves. I remember watching that Braves Indians World Series and I was cheering so hard for the Indians. Wanted them to win so bad. Uh, the Braves won that year, but. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Thirty years ago. It’s still far too soon. Still too soon. Can’t bring it up. So they got to the ALCS, which is great. And they won two games in the ALCS, so things are good. Um, in ninety six, they draft Alex Rodriguez. Um, and randomly he somehow thought of as like an insanely humble and nice and great person. Like, all of these articles are written about how this kid is so nice, had his head on. Right. He says the nicest thing or the best things. He is not some diva. He’s just ready to play the game. Uh, and that’s how they were talking about him. Uh, he went into he, uh, would eventually go to the Texas Rangers in a wild free agency in which money was he got the richest contract in baseball and sports history at the time. He was making wild requests because he wanted space for his, his people in, uh, a suite and at the facility. He wanted, like, a private jet for his people. He was making crazy requests, didn’t even give the Mariners an audience. So by the time he leaves a few years later, the Mariners fans do not love him, but they draft him in ninety six. Um, pitching fails that year. They don’t make the playoffs. They do the next year in ninety seven, where they lose three one in the first round, and after the nineteen ninety nine season, where they did not make the playoffs in ninety eight or ninety nine, Griffey demands a trade and gets traded to the Cincinnati Reds randomly. Um, had a had a nice time with the Reds, but post Griffey, you would think is terrible. But Post Griffey is amazing. They get a wild card spot in two thousand. Uh, they lose in the playoffs. But, um, that is when Alex Rodriguez leaves to Texas. So you would think, well, this is going to be terrible again. But then they get a twenty seven year old Ichiro to come over, uh, who is just, um, tearing it up. He helps them win the division in two thousand and one, where they won one hundred and sixteen games, which is insane. One hundred and sixteen games for baseball is nuts. They end up going to the ALCS where they sadly lose to the Yankees. That was the year where they lost to the Diamondbacks, which is one of my favorite World Series of all time. I love, love that World Series where they lost to the Diamondbacks. So this stretch is only positive for the Mariners. We’re thinking life is going to be good. We’ve got Ichiro now. Things are. We just made the ALCS. Surely this is going to be great. They do not make the playoffs for twenty one years after that. Oh, no. Twenty one years. And just to peek behind the curtain. So I lived in Seattle my junior and senior year of high school. Uh, Zack, you got to come out and visit. We’ve been to a mariners game. The park that they built after the Kingdome kingdom is incredible. It was Safeco. I think it’s T-Mobile Park now. It is such an iconic, cool stadium. It has a retractable roof which was very innovative for the time and great because it rains quite often up in Seattle. It is a great place. Ichiro was such a fun player to watch, but I remember in two thousand and four, two thousand and five, two thousand and six, I walked into the pro shop with my dad and was like, why do they sell merch? That just says two thousand and one playoffs. I’m like, what? Like, why is that a thing? Why would I buy a hat that just says, we made the playoffs in two thousand and one, and that is a glimpse into life as a mariners fan, that you have these small stretches followed by these absolutely insane desserts. I mean, an eighteen year dessert to make the playoffs when the franchise gets started, and then a twenty one year Your dessert until they finally made it again in twenty twenty two. Just an absolute. And there’s fun stuff in between. There’s Ichiro, there’s Felix Hernandez, like there is fun stuff happening, but you are just nowhere near, uh, pushing into into the playoffs at all. So I have two memories from that. We actually went to a mariners game, like you said. Um, sometime in high school. Um, the two, the two things that I remember clear as day we were going to the game and it was just us, I think. And your dad was like, you make sure that you stand for the national anthem. And I was like, yes, sir, you’ve got no issues. I’m there. So they go through the the national anthem, no issues. Then they were playing the Blue Jays, I want to say, or someone from Canada. That’s right. And they started playing the Canadian national anthem. And we looked at each other and we were like, do we do we salute? What do we, what do we do here? I don’t know what’s what’s protocol. It was you and your brothers. The four of us went down, and we’re just looking at each other like, I don’t know, everybody’s just. We’re standing. I don’t know, it’s very confusing. And then the second thing, two, two guys just really enjoying life, uh, behind us. And, uh, they, for whatever reason, couldn’t tell you what was going on with the game, but they were trying to do the wave and no one zero people were trying to do the wave with them. No. So they’re like throwing their hands up, and then they’re like, let’s go. And they’re pointing across the entire stadium. And no one, no one is going to keep pointing all the way around the table. And they’re like, oh, they just they just raised their hands. They were like, what the hell is going on? Oh man. They were all so enamored with a guy a few rows in front of us. It had a really hairy back and they called him the Yeti. So like when something good would happen, everybody was clapping. They would point at him and be like, oh yeah, Yeti! And by the end of the game, the guy turned around and was like, yeah, like he leaned into the Yeti thing. Uh, but that’s the kind of stuff you have to do when your team is losing one hundred games, uh, a year. And just to kind of wrap things up and to show you how terrible that desert was in the mid two thousand. This is a clip from their manager, John McLaren, in two thousand and eight, where they lost at least one hundred games. They lost in two thousand and eight, one hundred and one games. And this was after a tough loss. And I want you to just join in the misery with poor John McLaren. We’re playing our ass off every day and got nothing to show for it. I’m tired of losing. I’m tired of getting my ass beat. And so those guys, we got to change this around and get after it. And only we can do it. The fans are pissed off, and I’m pissed off and the players are pissed off. And that’s the way it is. There’s no easy way out of this. Can’t feel sorry for ourselves. Got to buckle it up and get after it. Tired of losing his. Every night we bust our ass. It’s got to be a total team effort to turn this thing around. And that’s it. Get him! John. And that was to reporters. It wasn’t a press conference. Uh, so Seattle I am. I know you join us here at MSK and understand what misery looks like, not having a winning season for so long to start not making the playoffs for twenty one years. But things are high. Cal Raleigh is so fun. Big dumper hits sixty home runs this year. It’s a fun team. They have a first round bye. I’m just really excited for them and we look forward to hopefully them ending some misery because it’s been a long time coming. It has been a long time coming. There’s a there’s a special level of misery to with baseball, right? Because it’s not like a sixteen game season. It’s one hundred and sixty two games. It’s so long. You’re like twenty and eighty and you’re like, I think I’m going to change the channel and watch the Mariners play baseball. I think I’m gonna do it. So God bless them. Yep. They’re they’re they’re one of us. Shout out to the Mariners. That’s our deep dive of the week. And if you thought things were grim, hang tight, because we’ve got, uh, another sponsor coming to make things even more memorable. That’s right. It’s our sponsor of this episode. From the makers of Brian Callahan’s playbook. Bingo comes a fun product from D&D with Bill Callahan’s chloroform shots. Are you forced to stay in a terrible situation because your son called in the middle of the night to explain that he’d gotten a job he was vastly underqualified for, and wanted you to leave your well-established position where he’d created a reputation of being one of the best to ever do it. But now you have to uproot your family to hopefully save your son from embarrassment. But you know, deep down you can’t do it because the evolutionary father driving you makes you come anyway, and you have to watch Oppenheimer cloud explode in front of you, knowing you could have prevented it, but you didn’t, and have that because you didn’t have the heart to say no. Well, now just take a little shot of chloroform and take this drive off. You deserve it. We all deserve it. Is Bill rooting for? Is he rooting for one way? Is he? Is he like, I think this this is a mercy kill. He’s putting calendar invites on the owner’s schedule. Like, please take this call. Please take this meeting with me. We’ve got to end this thing. He’s. Oh my God. I mean, he was one of the the best offensive line coaches out there with the Browns. And they kindly let him go be on his son’s team, Wolf. Well, thank you to Bill Callahan and his chloroform. The real MVP’s who remind us someone, somewhere, actually has our back before we call it a day, let’s leave on a high note with our weekly pep talks and Misery Sports Co. We always try to sneak a little hope into the end of our meetings, even if it’s mostly fantasy. My pep talk this week goes to Dillon Gabriel Dillon Gabriel is the backup quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. He was drafted in the third round of last year’s draft, and it has just been announced today that Dillon Gabriel will be the starter for the Cleveland Browns going into next week. Yeah. Woo! Yes Dillon Gabriel de dawg. Mhm. I just I need you to take care of the football. Yeah. It’s not going to be pretty. I cannot go back to Joe Flacco not doing it on my life. I can’t. You protect that ball. I don’t care if we lose the game. I don’t care if you are running for your life the entire game. Don’t care. Take care of the football. Show me a little something we can keep building toward next week. I can’t go back to Joe. Thank you. And that’s my masterpiece of encouragement. Trevor, show us how it’s done. Oh, man, I’m so glad that put that bow on the end of it. Thank. Thank you for your time. Uh, I would like to talk to our owner, Amy Adams Strunk, who is the daughter of famous Titans owner Bud Adams, who orchestrated the move from Houston and hilariously on multiple occasions gave the Double Bird to opposing fans on tape. It’s some of the great just. It brings me joy. Old man giving him the birds. But she runs a show now and I love her. We call her mom because she’s got some southern charm to her, and she just wants to see the Titans win. But Miss Amy. Um, first off, I love you. And what what you’re doing with this organization. I love the new facilities that we’re getting. I just think life in that department is great. Thank you for caring about this team, because I do know that you care. And it’s because you care that you must get rid of this coach. I have had to watch twenty one games with Brian Callahan. I have seen three wins. Why would you put me through that? Why would you make me watch twenty one football games with my favorite team? And I only get to see three videos of him holding up a football in the locker room with the with the players. Why would you do that to me? It feels personal at this point. It feels like you want me to suffer. For some reason. I came to your town. I’ve been to Nashville twice. It was lovely. I spent money there. It was great. Yeah. I went to a predators game and I rooted against the stars. But that are rooted for the stars. That seems like a really weird thing to pick out and make me suffer like this. So either tell me to pick a new team or get rid of the coach because I’m done. I can’t do this anymore, Amy. I can’t do it. In fact. Why don’t you call in Brian Callahan’s dad and just have him waiting in the in your office? You don’t have to be there. Just let Brian Callahan walk into the office, see his dad there. And just like Goodfellas, he’s just going to go, oh, no. And then cut to black because he’ll know what’s coming. Okay? Figuratively, I condone violence and am against it, but figuratively put us out of our misery. Or fire the coach. Thank you. Oh, and those were our pep talks of the week. So let’s look ahead to next week. Zach who do the Browns have? They will be playing the Minnesota Vikings in London of all places. So you’re going to have to get up nice and early right about uh nine nine thirty for that kickoff. Mhm. Um, Minnesota is just okay. They’re not great. Uh, they have a essentially a rookie quarterback as JJ McCarthy’s been injured and now he’s back. Um, so there’s absolutely an opportunity to shut the Minnesota offense down. I just have no idea what the Browns offense is going to look like. Yeah. Um, I think that we’re going to have a little bit more bill. Well, we’re going to have a ton more mobility with Dylan Gabriel. He’s going to be able to escape the pocket. Um, we just traded for another left tackle, so we’ll throw him to the meat grinder. Alright. Um, you know, we’ve got a shot. It’s just. Will we take care of the ball? Are we going to limit our mistakes? Are we going to score twenty? I think twenty points at this point is going to win us most games. Um, as long as we take care of the ball. So we shall see. Well, good luck to the Browns. The Titans have the Arizona Cardinals this week. It’s a late game. So for our folks who like to watch Red zone it is one of I think four games going in that time slot. So you’re unfortunately going to be subjected to a lot of Titans. The Cardinals are two and two. They lost their primary running back recently and their backup running back just had surgery. But it doesn’t matter whoever their third string running back is about to go for at least one fifty, as the Titans will lose their fifth game of the season to move to zero five. But I look forward to watching. Can’t wait. Wolf, we’ve survived another meeting at Misery Sports Co. If you want to suffer alongside us, subscribe and follow on X. Until next week. I’m Zack and I’m Trevor. See you next time.