Saints by Name, Sufferers by Nature: St Kilda Football Club (Ep. 28)

Welcome back to Misery Sports Co, where, analytically speaking, we are one of the top five sports podcasts in the world. I’m Zach and I’m Trevor. Top five baby. This episode we have a ton of jam packed content. We’re gonna continue with the same structure that we’ve had on our podcast. Before we jump into the weekly performance review, Trevor, who is our first sponsor. So glad you asked. Zach, have you ever been walking around talking to somebody and thought, I’d love to make this conversation more about me? Well, now you can with everyday mouthguard. That’s right. Even you can have a mouthguard just like your favorite players, Steph Curry or really any hockey player at all under the age of twenty five and wear a mouthguard in everyday conversations. So you can go from, hey, I really like that suit. Where’d you get it, too? With every day mouthguard. Wow. Uh. Thank you. Every day. Mouthguard. We will accept your sponsorship. I’m not sure. Not sure if that check cleared yet, but we are going to jump into cash it, cash it the weekly performance reviews. So we go across any and all different sports fandoms. It could be our teams, could be our leagues. Uh, typically is our teams because we’re sharing in the misery here at Misery Sports Co. So Trevor, take us down your weekly performance review. Uh, well, I don’t actually have a lot going on right now. Uh, I will reiterate the hype over here in Titans camp and just say every video that they release has got me ready to run through a wall. If there’s one thing we do well, it’s not football, it’s social media posts. Our schedule release was great, and all of our camp footage has been absolutely on point, even if it’s just a ten second clip of Carnell Tate catching it with one hand. I’m here for it, and every pass is the perfect pass and a great spiral, and it’s all wonderful. So all of the Titans propaganda is working on me like nobody’s business. I don’t know what that says about me, but I’m here for it. I did want to briefly highlight my baseball team, which is the Chicago Cubs, and I’m saying that loosely. My baseball team, after we won a championship in sixteen, which is probably too soon, but after we did that, it was kind of like, okay, like we did it. I’m kind of good with baseball. I was looking at the I have been following it. Can I name every player on team? Absolutely not. I can probably give you a solid five or six. We’ve had a crazy season, started out not great, immediately dipped below five hundred and moved into last place. But just on May ninth, the Cubs had finished their second ten game winning streak of the year and were three and a half games in first place, four and a half over the Brewers. So we were twenty seven and thirteen. Great things are great. We were pretty much unanimously picked to win the NL central. Things are looking good. If I change the calendar to today, we find ourselves in fourth place out of five six games back from first place, six games back from the Milwaukee Brewers who have turned it on. And we are, I think, in the process right now of getting swept by the, uh, athletics. So it’s going great. Everything is super positive over here. Cubs fans are probably losing their mind. I, you know, am appreciating them from afar and and join with them. But it I you know I can’t care about that yet. We’ll out. Uh, Sammy Sosa, we need some more steroids. Hey, let’s get him back. Let’s get him back. Zach, what do you got? What do you got, Trevor? I’m gonna need you to, uh, to kill that music. Uh, I didn’t think I’d be here so soon, but, um, here we are. I suppose I’m going to go ahead and, uh. Yeah. You can’t. You can’t bury him yet. We’re back. R.I.P. Myles Garrett’s Cleveland Browns career. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I’ll never forget you almost killing Mason Rudolph with a helmet. No matter what he said, he totally deserved it for the two times we made the playoffs and did nothing. At least we crushed Big Ben. Yeah, man. Special thank you to the Browns for waiting until I bought that Myles Garrett jersey to make the trade. Oh, he had just signed a mega contract extension and I thought it was a great time to invest. Joke’s on me. Trevor jokes on me, and I really just. I wanted someone who’s lived the Cleveland experience to sum it up. And this is true. I’m sorry. Jason Kelce and Travis Kelce brothers from Cleveland. Here we go. If you want to see how much you love football try and be a Browns fan. That’s what it comes down to. Travis. Look at it since since they came back since they’ve come back. How many starting quarterbacks has it been. How many losing seasons? I love the Browns. Growing up, I was a big fan. I had a couch jersey on and I wore that every day at school. Yeah, it’s been tough. Ah, God, man, the Tim couch, too, man. What makes it easy to root for him is the people, the dawg pound. Like the like Cleveland is just there’s awesome people that live there. They’re friendly, they’re intense. They love sports. They’re passionate. Mhm. I love you, Cleveland, but, uh, it’s too soon. I can’t talk about it anymore. Trevor. Mhm. That’s, uh. That’s tough. I’m sorry that we had to eulogize him. That news came out of freaking nowhere. Did not expect it. Um, I guess I don’t really hate the return, right? Because Myles Myles Garrett’s, like, arguably one of the best players in the entire NFL. Yeah. You’re not going to get enough for him. But we weren’t going anywhere this season. So might as well get a first round pick second or third. And we get Jared Verse who’s decent. He’s decent. Okay. You know rookie of the year a couple Pro Bowls. That doesn’t really mean anything anymore. But we’ll see. Trevor! It hurts. Hey, did you get that? Uh, they doing that Jersey assurance thing for that Myles Garrett Jersey. Trevor that’s like ninety days. That’s like a ninety day window. Of course. Just checking. I’m glad you brought it up. I looked it up. I, I brought it up on my phone and it said, Zach, you’re an idiot. Why’d you buy this jersey? Like you’re not getting another one. That was, I would have thought, the safest jersey buy for the Browns by far. Absolutely. Yeah. I don’t know. What do we know. Look at where we are anymore. Look at our shareholders. They’re in shambles. Yeah it’s not financial advice, folks. Unbelievable. That’s tough. But hey, I at least I thought you were going to eulogize the Browns season. We’re not ready to do that. Oh no no no no no no till the preseason and no no, no. I just saw your coach say that you have two starting caliber quarterbacks on your team, so I look forward to seeing which one it’s going to be. Yeah. Me too. Trevor. All right, before we jump into the mail room, I gotta I gotta get away from this discussion. We’re going to jump into our second sponsor. 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For soccer, fans will have your stars or your team’s star player miss a penalty kick into the neighbor’s pool. Every package includes authentic crowd noise, controversial officiating, and at least one person repeatedly, repeatedly assuring you that there’s still plenty of time left. Sports reenactment services because sports trauma fades and we’re here to bring it right back. We’re here. Several of those were too soon, and I don’t appreciate that sponsor trying to rip bandaids off like that, but I will prebys on that. Trevor. A lot of pre buys for that package. Well, we’ll take it anyways. Yeah. I, you know, was, uh, surprise that Arsenal didn’t make the the weekly recap. They finished their great season. It was a great season. You know what, Trevor? It is. I don’t understand European soccer because on the one hand you have Arsenal who won the Premier League. Awesome. Literally what a week or two later they play in the Champions League. And when or I’m sorry, lose in the most devastating fashion on the last kick of a PK of penalty kicks. Like how can you celebrate winning everything? Yeah, in the British Premier League. And then on the other hand, like I don’t even know how a player would process that. Um, no, I don’t either. And if you had to pick, I suppose you’d probably switch the order of those. Yeah. I mean the Champions League is definitely bigger. Um Arsenal’s been chasing that you know that title that Premier League title for twenty plus years. Oh yeah. I think that I think that meant a ton. It. Yeah it was. If you’re gonna lose one, though, I feel like you’d want to lose it first and then end on the win one hundred percent. Trevor. So like, if they had lost the Champions League and then won the league, like, okay, that’s better. But yeah, you can’t really throw a parade and be like, we got we lost the Champions League. I know those two guys who missed the kick. They’re gonna be on the bus. And yeah, I feel bad. I feel bad for them. It’s tough. All right. Well we are now jumping into the mail room. I’m not sure that we have an employee here. We tried AI. We’ll try something else. Maybe Claude can do like some, I don’t know, coding for us and, uh. And give us the mail. Uh, Trevor, what do you have on your end? So I don’t think I mentioned this last time. I do not think I mentioned Josh Everly’s tweet about s g a free throws. That didn’t sound familiar to me. I don’t think I discussed this, so I am bringing him to the mail room today. So this was during the Western Conference finals. This was game during game for like the middle of game for Josh Eberle pointed out. And we had talked lots on the podcast about all of Sga’s free throws. Josh really pointed out. Fun fact if SGA shot fifty two more free throws over the last two and a half games that were remaining, and that did go to seven, so fifty two more over two and a half games. He’d still have shot fewer free throws in the series than D Wade did in the oh six finals that only went six games. Wow, Zachary, I didn’t know where we were going and that took a turn. Yeah, that took a turn. That took a personal turn. You know what? I’ll hire the the trauma people to come. I don’t know. Sprint to the basket and then I’ll we’ll call a foul on him or something. I’m still not over that. They can rip that band aid off. Um my my winner though is from Ivan who on X had a picture of Kenny Atkinson and said this weekend analytically, I’m only going to have one beer. And then in parentheses it says I’m having thirty seven. So that’s awesome. Thought that was great. Thanks, Ivan. Zach, what do you got for us? Oh man. We got a couple of, uh, retweets. Make sure that you follow us at Misery Sports Co on uh, X. I guess they’re calling it now. Barstool sports had one. I’m not going to be able to really show it, but it’s POV. Uh, and then it says you just ran on the court in the NBA finals and are going to jail. And I didn’t even see this, but apparently someone ran on the court. They took him down. He was he was taking a video of it. He went next to Wemby. He couldn’t even get wemby in the picture. That’s how giant he is. Mhm. Uh, he’s been banned for life. Someone else was banned for life as well, and it just said, oh, I didn’t see that. He, uh, aided and abetted, I guess, or something. Mhm. Um, another one from Barstool Sports. I guess. I just see a lot of barstool. It’s Kenny again, and he’s doing his explanation and it says analytically, Jared verse could be better than Myles Garrett. It could be okay. Uh, gotta look at the numbers. Yeah. And we’ll end with at ESPN with the Montreal Canadiens eliminated from the Stanley Cup playoffs. The drought for Canadian teams continues. A Canadian NHL team has not won the Stanley Cup since nineteen ninety three. Isn’t that something? Isn’t that something? That is tough. Well, thanks, folks. That’s our mailroom. We’ll definitely get those awards out to you. Somebody will, in some form or fashion, before we hit that next segment, we got to stop down for a sponsor. And guess what? I bought the sponsorship and it was expensive as hell. Okay, hear me out. Are you ready, people? You’re not ready for this. What if I told you I was about to revolutionize? Listen. And three and two. He bought the segment. Doesn’t matter. Yeah, it’s my money. I can mess it up. All right? I paid for it. What if I told you that I was going to revolutionize the way you saw things? But I mean everything. I bought the next 30s to tell you about my my color theory. So, listen, everybody sees colors, right? We can all agree on that. Okay. And it’s around the wheel. Everybody has a dial. Correct. You see the color spectrum? Everyone. What if I told you that it is a dial that can be clicked one spot to the left or to the right, or even a couple spots, and everybody sees that same thing, but everybody’s a little bit different on the dial. So the way you see navy blue is the same way I see navy blue, but the colors are actually different because I’m one dial spin to the left and you’re one dial spin to the right, but we call it navy blue. And we say that things like scarlet and gray and, you know, all these different colors go together, but we’re not actually seeing the same color because yours is one click different than mine. So the way that we see colors, although we describe them similarly, are actually different. Now I’m saying, what if there was on the spectrum a sort of. I refuse to buy more. That’s where it was 30s. It was way too much money to buy more than that. So I’m just gonna. If I say any more about it, then I have to pay another couple thousand. So I’m just going to stop. Well, we appreciate the sponsorship, Trevor. Thank you. And, uh, Trevor learned about reverse mortgages and helocs. So we, uh, we appreciate that. Thank you. My financial planner is going to hate that. He’s going to hate that. I don’t think that was money well spent. Welcome to the Office of Moral Victories, where we hand out these beautiful, small, tiny trophies to our employees of the week. Trevor, who do you got for your employee or employees of the week? Well, it’s certainly nobody from my sports teams. Most of them aren’t playing in. The Cubs are not playing well, but the Cubs had a national game. And wait till you hear who got the call. It’s one of our favorite people. I would say if we had an MSI, uh, Mount Rushmore, this person’s on their easy. Wait till you hear this. Look at this. P c a hits it into the top row. It’s Eric Collins. He’s doing baseball. He does baseball. It responds. Third hit of the night. He was announcing, for context. The Cardinals were chanting overrated to Pete Crow-armstrong. And then he belted a homer right into the tarps off section, where they’re all waving their shirts around their head. And I thought Eric Collins had a great call. So it’s always fun to see our boy on, uh, on the call. And now he’s on on baseball. He can do it all. So congrats, Eric Collins, you are my employee of the week. Well done Eric. And my employee of the week is going to be a familiar face. It is the fan that was arrested and given a lifetime ban at game one of the NBA finals. I give you props. I don’t know why you did it. They quickly removed him. He had a terrible video. He didn’t even capture good footage. And now he is banned for life. And he was arrested and probably charged with something. So let him live. Employee of the week. They actually showed him on the broadcast too. Like usually they don’t show those people, but like, I saw his face and like the camera stayed on them and Wemby was kind of laughing. It was the craziest thing. Shout out. Congrats. His time. His wasn’t even fifteen minutes of fame. It was like fifteen seconds. But yep, there we go. Uh, before we jump into this week’s deep dive, we have our last sponsorship. Trevor. And, uh, you know, it’s, it’s interesting that you spoke about, uh, color in our last, uh, broadcast here. Go on. Um. Let’s see. Could that be? What could it be? From the makers of the Deadliest Catch? Gold Rush, an expedition unknown. For generations, humanity has explored every corner of the known world. We’ve crossed oceans, we’ve climbed mountains, mapped the deepest jungles, and discovered millions of colors. Or have we? What if one color has remained hidden? A color beyond the spectrum, beyond science, beyond imagination. A color known only as bailiff. In season two of chasing Bailiff, Trevor and Zach embark on a global quest unlike any other. Through remote rainforests, across scorching deserts, over unforgiving mountain ranges. Their search will take them farther than they’ve ever gone before. the search for the world’s newest color begins this fall only on Discovery Channel. I’m excited. Oh man. I again, we never discuss our sponsorships, but I set that up quite nicely. It cost me two months mortgage, but it was worth it to set it up for the chase for Bliff. Sometimes, uh, you know, it just comes together and we got renewed for a second season, so we’ll see our wives next year. We’re going to go adventure in the the Amazon. So go find this color. We got a guest spot from Neil deGrasse Tyson who’s in this season. Uh, I’m not in the scorching desert part though. I don’t do deserts. We’ll have we’ll have a stunt double do that. Yes. No doubt. Yeah. Spoiler. It’s not there. It’s not us and it’s not there. We didn’t find Cliff in the desert. Uh, welcome to this week’s deep dive. So every week, we take a look at a long suffering fan base. And, Trevor, it is the off season in my world. We are in peak off season mode. I am going across the world, across the universe. We have landed today on none other than Saint Kilda Football Club. And you’re wondering, who is that Trevor and where are they? This is part of one of your favourite sports leagues. It’s a sports league that you would watch at random times in our dorm room in college. Is this Australian rules? Yes, sir. Let’s go. Yes. One of the most entertaining sports to watch without having any idea what’s going on. Uh, there’s people in coats. They’re like lab coats, and they just point. They give you the two pointers when you score, and they’re right under the goalposts. It is a massive. It’s it’s like a circle that they play in. Uh, so Saint Kilda Football Club is part of the Australian rules football, AFL, as they call it, founded one hundred and fifty three years ago in eighteen seventy three. Oh my goodness. Their nickname is the Saints. So they play When the Saints go marching in for one of their anthems. They’ve won one time and they call it the Premiership. So I think this is interesting. A minor premiership is when you are at the top of the table at the end of the season. So Arsenal won the EPL. They would have been a minor premiership in this league. After that there’s a tournament. Arsenal would not have been the Premiership because they lost in the final. So the Premiership is more important than staying on top of the table for the season, if that makes sense. Yep, they won it in nineteen sixty six. They’ve won the minor premiership a couple of times. But what’s interesting about this club, Trevor, is they have finished last more times than any other club at twenty seven. They hold the league’s longest Premiership drought at sixty years, and they are the second lowest all time win percentage among current teams, the lowest being the Gold Coast Suns. Oof! Another interesting fact. Yeah. It’s rough. I thought this was awesome and also hilarious. The wooden spoon, as they call it, is the imaginary and ironic award, which is said to be won by the team finishing in last place in the AFL. No physical wooden spoon award exists other than those brought by opposition fans to taunt struggling teams. However, most sports betting agencies will take wagers on the wooden spoon. I like that I’m a wooden spoon fan. Yeah, so you can just go to the other team so people show up to Saint Kilda’s home and they just start dancing with wooden spoons. Weird but awesome, but weird. And that’s Saint Kilda. So we traveled to Australia this week. Yeesh. Saint Kilda and there the saints, and there the saints. And they suck. And they are welcome at Misery Sports Co. They absolutely are. I actually remember, uh, in college when we would watch it, I became a Magpies fan. And anytime I see it I’m always looking for the Magpies. I hope they’re doing great. It’s such a fun sport. Although I would say, uh, seven out of the ten games that you’d watch were absolute blowouts. Like I was just about to say that Trevor, you were somebody was getting the brakes beat off them. I don’t think I ever saw a close Australian rules. It was like one hundred and fifty to seven. It’s like what? But the fans would always still be like, really into it. I was like, oh yeah, this isn’t even close. But oh, you know, that was a good catch. And yeah, they would kick the ball long distances. And if you caught it, you essentially got another free kick. Unembedded. Like nobody could mess with you. And so you’d have these long kicks and you were trying to get it. You’re trying to catch it close to the the goals so somebody could kick it in and then we’d get a it was kind of like a little bit like rugby, but then you could also dribble the ball like a basketball. Yes. So weird. Oh, I forgot about that. And I felt, I don’t know, I felt like the the field was if you think about like a football stadium football, you just have that one rectangle. It felt like it was the whole stadium that they were playing in. Like it was just a giant grass circle oval. Yep. Yeah. Pretty cool. Yeah. well shout out Saint. Remind me again, Saint Kilda. Saint Kilda, we appreciate you long suffering fans and you’re absolutely welcome here at MSC. Well, thank you so much for tuning in to our latest episode at Misery Sports Co. Don’t forget to follow us on our Twitter at Misery Sports Co. We also have a website, Misery Sports co dot com. Make sure that you’re subscribing. Click the subscribe button. Pocketcasts. Apple, Spotify, you name it, we’re there. It really helps me get that mortgage money back because that sponsorship was a little risky, if nothing else. Stay tuned. Great things are around the corner, surely, because misery loves company.