Pittsburgh Pirates : Pirates Without the Plunder (Ep. 31)

Welcome back to Misery Sports Co. If your team has ever blown the biggest game of their entire lives, you are welcome here. I’m Zach and I’m Trevor. And it’s sad that that could apply to so many of our teams. We have a few that we will cover in the weekly performance review. We are back with our common structure, so we’re going to go into a deep dive today. Before we get into our weekly performance review, Trevor who is our first sponsor. Uh, I’m so glad you asked. Our first sponsor today comes to us from, uh, a person in the in the northeast. In fact, he’s created an entire program from it. Are you getting on in life? Starting to think about the mark you leave on this space rock, the legacy you’ll leave behind. Well, if you answered no, we have the product for you. It’s Keith Hernandez’s existential quandaries. If your brain can’t think past what’s right in front of it, let the New York Mets color commentator Keith Hernandez do it for you. During a live, regular season Mets game that is tied nine to nine in the sixth inning. My two are in their forties. They’re not going to have kids. I won’t go into to one of them. That’s not going to happen. So the line is Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert down just ended and I’ve got two jesses like my own. And with Keith Hernandez’s existential quandaries. Oh my word, there was a hit in there and he said nothing. I could hear the hit. No mention of the game. And it’s tied. It’s tied. In the sixth inning. There’s a runner on. Like, this is a good game. And they literally talked about this man’s bloodline dying. That was just a sampling. It went on for 90s plus with Keith Hernandez. But the Mets, the Mets suck. So you got to talk about something. So at least they make it interesting. They have made it on to Misery Sports Co, that’s for sure. They sure have. Thank you so much Keith for your sponsorship. Uh, we are now going to jump into the weekly performance review. We will take a look across just about any sports league. Could be our teams, could be some teams that we’ve covered recently. Uh, the latest and greatest. Trevor, what do you got for us? Well, it’s our time for our weekly check in on Carnell Tate’s health is Khanate. Carnell Tate healthy. Everybody wants to know. And he is healthy. So we look forward to the check in on next week’s episode. Not a lot to report with the Titans. I did see something funny that made me think of you and this whole thing. Uh, there was there was a composite ranking of offensive lines, uh, preseason offensive line rankings, and this was across six different groups that do it. So the total composites and it gave it teams like the Broncos, Eagles, Rams, all at the top, at the very bottom. Wouldn’t you know it thirty one and thirty two the Titans and the Browns baby. Let’s go. It’s awesome. We totally revamped our line. We can only go up from here. Let’s go. It’s so I, I can’t think about it too long or else like I’ll I’ll cry. I’ll go into a depression. We’ve spent so much draft capital on the offensive line and then we’re thirty first in the rankings. Like how, how does a team how does a team do that? It’s incredible. How do you judge a team in their offensive line when the rest of the team is complete. Utter trash. Yeah, it’s true, it’s true. You don’t know how bad the running backs are, though, because they’re getting tackled right as they grab the ball. I know now the quarterbacks you can make some more judgments, but I am used to us running the ball really well. We have had good running backs. Both of our teams have had great running backs. Derrick Henry, Nick Chubb, Quinshon Judkins is good. He just completely ripped his leg in half last season, so that was unfortunate. Speaking of Derrick Henry, fun fact I just saw the most rush yards over the last ten seasons, like a total over the last ten seasons. Derrick Henry is in first by a long ways by four thousand yards. Do you have a guess as to who is in second place? Have you seen this? No. Okay. Um, over the last ten years or NFC, NFC, NFC. Um, I am going to go with it’s got to be someone from the, uh, not the Rams the Rams. I don’t know I got nothing. So Saquon Barclay’s third. But in second place over the last ten seasons is none other than Ezekiel Elliott at nine zero zero zero yards. Which is crazy because he’s been out of the league for a hot minute. And he’s still got the second most yards in the past ten years. Unreal. Yep. So there’s there’s your fun fact for the week. Um, otherwise I’ve just been very sad because our beloved men’s soccer team just crap the bed, uh, in a really unfortunate way, but, uh, more on that later. The World Cup. Fun fact I wanted to share. Not a fun fact, but something happened is we have another. Analytically, we’re the best team. It happened again. You would think that coaches would see this and stop. But after Canada got knocked out by Morocco, their coach said the better team today. I’d rather be us than Morocco. No you wouldn’t. You lost. Idiot. He’s a coach from the US. I think he even played for the US men’s team, like a long time ago. Jesse Marsch. Yeah. That’s tough. But, Zack, what do you have this week? So I was looking across Major League Baseball. Uh, Guardians are one back. Cubs were six back. Okay, okay. Not too bad. Um, Mariners who we’ve covered at Misery Sports Co. They’re a half game ahead. Uh, the Mets and the Rockies, who we’ve covered complete dumpster fires. Uh, probably the bottom two. I know Rockies are definitely there. something I found interesting this past week? The New York Yankees are the first team ever in two games in back to back games to strike out, not by pitching, but by batting to strike out seventeen times in each game. So they struck out thirty four times. Yeah. Yikes. They, uh, they’ve lost thirteen of the last seventeen. And they’re still fifty wins and forty two losses, which is actually pretty crazy. So they they lit it up that first half. Dang. Yeah. Don’t think the Yankees will make it on to Misery Sports Co. But that was an interesting fact. NBA uh Donovan Mitchell signed a contract extension for years. We’re here for it. Mhm. Um we are on LeBron watch Trevor. So, um it’s not I’m at the point where it is not going to benefit us either way, it’s just a really cool story if he comes back, but forty one year old LeBron James is only going to do so much for twenty minutes. I am telling you Trevor beneficial twenty minutes. He’s coming back. He’s coming back. And I will share more in our our mail room. But I am disturbed with the conditions of him returning. Okay, more to come there. Uh, and then I did want to touch on the World Cup, which it sounds like you got more on that, but obviously the US lost to Belgium. You know, they, they won their group. They had a decent showing. It just was a total dumpster fire in that last game. And I thought about the loss. It was four to one. They couldn’t do anything. They were just allowing goals like crazy. It was like Beer League soccer. We just weren’t even defending. Yeah. I’ve never seen a goalie kick the dirt. Just it was like the wasn’t it the Giants kicker that yes, yes, he did kick the ground before the field goal. Um, I was thinking about like, how does this apply? And at Misery Sports Co, this is an MSK special. This is like college football. You’re a top fifteen to top twenty team. You’ve won the first five to six games. You’re rolling and you get a night game against like a top five top ten opponent prime time ABC. You’re feeling yourself. Uh it’s Georgia, it’s Alabama. It’s Ohio State. And they come in and they just kill you from the from the very drop. You lose by three or four touchdowns and you’re wondering what just happened. Mhm. That was exactly what it’s like. More on that to come in the mail room. Okay. Before we head to the mail room, our next sponsor, skip the casino and head to the Average Joe Challenge, where the only thing you’re gambling with is your own well-being. Ever wondered if you could hit a ninety mile per hour fastball? We got odds on that. I think you could stay conscious after one punch from Mike Tyson. Place your wager and find out. Feeling confident? Double down on returning a Novak Djokovic serve, making one tackle against Derrick Henry. Uh oh. Or surviving a full shift against Connor McDavid. Every event comes with live betting, instant replays, and on site medical professionals standing by. At average Joe Challenge. The house always wins, mostly because the house isn’t the one stepping into the batter’s box. Mhm. Thank you, Average Joe. Yeah. That I’m very excited for AI and technology to advance so we can have something like that just like. Oh yeah, you think that why don’t you strap in and see? My favorite was can you not even, like, punch back on Tyson? Can you just stay conscious after he clocks you in the dome? We have a pretty strong policy on talking, betting. We don’t really care for it or whatever. We’ll talk about favorites or whatever on a game, but if you’re in the ring and you’re going to get punched, I’ll let you bet. I’ll let you bet. Mhm. That’s the action I want. That’s the action I want. Well, welcome to the mail room. We’re still looking for some summer temps. Maybe interns, I don’t know, to do this. Mail unpaid? Yeah, they’re gonna have to use AI. You got to know AI. You got to be able to code minimum of five years of experience. We’re not going to pay you. We’re not paying you. Trevor. As we look across the mail room, what do you got for us this week? So funnily enough, my mail room almost exactly coincides with everything that you talked about in your, uh, in your, uh, weekly recap. So first we have some, some baseball thoughts. So John Morrissey first says that the Tigers are eighteen and twelve since June first, and that is good enough for the Al’s best record in that time, eighteen and twelve. To illustrate the difference between the American and National League this year. The Cubs have the same record as the Tigers during that time period, and they have lost a game in the standings to the Brewers. We’ve lost. We have the same record as the best Al team and we’re losing ground, so that’s great. That’s some messy stuff right there. Uh, to go along with what you were just talking about college football. You’re feeling great. You’re moving up the rankings, and then you get Ohio State on a night game. Uh, Landon Tingwall says the US soccer loss feels like every big Penn State game from twenty seventeen to twenty twenty five. That’s exactly it, Trevor. Exactly. It one hundred percent, uh, shoot and staying with soccer. Uh, this is from, uh, the unofficial NC double a portal says, uh, my wife says you don’t even like soccer. I say to her back, I don’t like war either. But we pull for the US when they’re in one, don’t we? And that is the mail room from my side. Zach, what do you got? Well done. So the first thing I have is actually an announcement from Shams or Shams or whatever he goes by. Uh, we have a free agent center signing. It is. I’m going to actually preface this. I, I was so close to playing this song. I’m just going to sing it because we were going to get copyrighted. And like the ten people that listen to this are going to be really disappointed. But it is none other than Mo Bamba. Mhm. MM. Dun dun dun dun dun. Dun dun bup bup bup bup bup bup bup Mo. Bamba signed another two year deal with the Utah Jazz. Thank you, Mo Bamba. Trevor, can you tell me how long Mo Bamba has been in the m b a? Yes, I can, because he was who I thought the Mavericks were going to draft instead of Luka. So he’s been around. Oh holy crap. Has he been around like almost ten years? Yeah. Eight years. Well dang, man, that’s crazy. He has made forty million dollars. Good for me. I calculated the minutes. He’s getting paid sixteen thousand dollars per minute on the court, averaging seven points per per game in a season. Congrats, Mo. I mean, you’re doing it right. Well done. Get that money, baby. Get that money. That’s right. My next is from at the Hoop Central. And it is Dallas Mavericks head coach dusty May. And what he had to say about Kyrie Irving. I spoke with Kyrie and actually witnessed a workout this morning. And I felt like I left the gym watching Picasso paint a picture. Really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. We’ll leave that up to, uh, to later. But yeah, we’re excited about Kyrie. Oh, okay. That warms my sports heart. Zach I love to hear that Kyrie was cooking in China. I sent you a trade request. You did not approve it. But I would love for Kyrie to come back to Cleveland. Just we don’t have Jared Allen. He’s a figment of your imagination. Don’t worry. That’s why it got rejected. You can’t include the one player I’ve wanted for the past half decade. Give me Jared Allen. Just take Donovan Mitchell. He’s great. He’ll be great if he’s healthy. Totally great. Um, and my last one is from ESPN Cleveland. So talked about LeBron watch. There’s this place called Caroline’s Cupcakes in twenty fourteen. Caroline’s cupcakes said just texting with a friend who is directly tied in with LeBron and his camp. And he swears on his life. The return to Cleveland is a done deal. They said that in twenty fourteen. They’re saying, hey guys, I’ve got it on good authority that not only is LeBron coming back this year to Cleveland, but he’s bringing Bronny and Draymond Green with him. Trevor shut up Draymond. They were hanging out this week. That is confirmed. Yo Trevor I cannot watch. I can’t watch Draymond and James stop you right there on the same let me stop. Let me stop you right there. I’ve wanted Draymond on the Mavericks forever. He’s going to be great. You’re gonna love it. I’m so on board. Oh man. Let’s freaking go. Oh yeah. Did you see the whiteboard. Yes. Yeah it was kind of funky. Um that’s just rich Paul. Like why is Rich Paul talking so much? He just, he’s trying to extend his shelf life because when LeBron is gone, it’s just he’s gone. He had all the teams that LeBron might go to and had some notes under them and under the Mavericks. One of them was oil. I’m sorry. LeBron’s just going to be an oil baron. How does that make sense. Hey Kawhi’s over here planting trees. LeBron we. Oh my God. Drill baby drill. We’re talking about we’re drilling. We’re fracking. We’re getting LeBron James. Let’s go. We’re doing it all. Heck yeah. Before we jump into the Office of Moral Victories and hand out some employees of the week, Trevor who is our next sponsor, this segment of the Misery Sports podcast is brought to you by snacks. Got a big day tomorrow. Need a snack? Is your kid graduating preschool? Damn snack. Have a presentation that could shift the economic fortunes of a mid-sized country. Eat a snack. Don’t do it alone. It’s snacks. You’re better on a slightly fuller tummy. Eat a damn snack with snacks. Is that Rex Ryan? That is Rex Ryan. It’s from hard knocks ten years ago, and he rips into his team about how they’re not playing New York Jets football. And at the end, he says, let’s go eat a beep beep snack. Wow. What a way to end a speech. Thank you. Rex. Welcome to the Office of Moral Victories. The trophies are still shiny. They’re still probably plastic. We’re being really eco friendly here. Um, always happy to hand out some employees of the week. Trevor, who do you got? Well, last time it was forty year old goalkeeper for Cape Verde Vozinha. And honestly, I could have just done it again. Cape Verde was the story, in my opinion, of the entire of the entire World Cup. They played out of their mind. Uh. Was it who was the last one? Brazil. Did they almost beat Brazil? Who? Who did they play? Argentina. Argentina. Even better. So they. It was two. Two. Yes. They played so well. Uh, so it might as well be him again. But, uh, just to switch it up a little bit, uh, this week I’m throwing a bit of a curveball. It is none other than the entire organization of the New York Islanders. So it sounds crazy because they’re not even playing right now, but they’re doing something, Zach, that we joke about all the time. They are letting their fans design a jersey for the twenty seven twenty eight season, which I think is so cool because inevitably, I mean, if we had a dollar for every Jersey redesign we’ve been through, we could buy each other very nice steak dinner, like a really nice steak dinner. It’s been so many. And inevitably they come out and the fans are like, this is so dumb. They should have done this. And now it’s like, well, let’s hear from you. You can vote on it. There’s already been some really cool designs, so shout out to the Islanders for actually listening to their fans. You’re my employee of the week. Yeah. How about you Zach? That’s what’s up. Uh, so we’ve been off for a couple weeks now, but my employee of the week was about a week ago. Um, it is the nation of Paraguay. And they defeated Germany on PKS in the round of thirty two. Yeah. Uh, Germany top ten team Paraguay. Not playing straight, goofball. I was gonna say it’s just straight bunch of thugs to the point where, like, yeah, they ended up playing France and it was the ugliest game of whatever you want to call it. Soccer. Football. Uh, I think I actually have to pull this award because of whatever their senator or whatever lawmaker that was. She went crazy on Mbappe. So I’m so sorry. I’m I’m pulling the award because the nation of Paraguay might be super racist. So they had it for twelve seconds. It was well done. Uh, yeah. That was that was probably the highlight of the whole US soccer run was just coming out of the gate and stomping Paraguay. That felt so good. That’s right. That is right. Well, Trevor, before we jump into this week’s deep dive, we have our last sponsor. And it’s actually, it’s a it’s a testimonial actually. Um, we never get testimonials, but we wanted to share this. Oh boy. Greetings. The haters and doctors advised me not to participate in the all World team. They were right. Honestly. Great call from the haters. I am now legally classified as mostly decorative, but every time I look at my framed participation certificate, I smile with the muscles that still work. Thank you all world Team for making my dreams come true. The muscles that still work. That’s not the testimonial they think it is. We’re making. We’re making dreams come true. Trevor, you stop it. Oh! Thank you all. World team. It’s once every four years. Trevor, we have to capitalize. There’s only a World Cup every once in a while. Okay? And you know what? Some piddly little participation trophy. And it pains that man to smile as he looks at it. Oh, we’ll catch that check. Um, yeah. He can’t. That’s right. A lot of them don’t work. That’s right. He can pursue cornhole, though. Yeah. He could. He could like Dayton. Um, I’m going to this week’s team. Uh. All right. Focus, Trevor. Just like this week’s deep dive. Uh, yeah. So every week, we try to look at a specific team. Doesn’t matter. The sport, the country. You can’t. You actually can’t do a deep dive on Dayton for for cornhole. But we’re going to go to Major League Baseball. And I keep coming back to the NL central. There is some sort of theme here, Trevor. I’ve covered a few MLB teams, but this week we are going to cover the Pittsburgh Pirates. Hey. All right. Buckos. So Pittsburgh established eighteen eighty two five World Series titles, but the most recent wasn’t until nineteen seventy nine. So It’s been a while. Last division title. We’re just talking about winning the division. Nineteen ninety two. Holy cow! Gracious. Wow. Yeah. A couple of key players. You know Barry Bonds was there for six or seven years. Uh, in the eighties into the early nineties. Andrew McCutchen in the two thousand. And obviously Paul Skenes, uh, Trevor, what other players stand out to you? Definitely McCutchen. He’s the one that comes to mind. And always when I think about the Pirates, I immediately go to see. To me, they’re not as offensive as certainly the Cardinals. But like even the Brewers, like the Brewers are really annoying. But the Pirates have been just as bad as the Cubs. Worse, clearly. And back in twenty fifteen, the Cubs got to the wild card game, where it was like the one game playoff to keep going and uh. And Jake Arrieta threw an absolute gem for the Cubs. It was at PNC. I think they have one of the coolest stadiums. It’s right on the river. Uh it’s beautiful. And the Cubs just went in there and silenced the the crowd and it was amazing. So that’s that’s my first go to memory from the Pirates is kind of breaking their hearts in the playoffs. Some interesting facts. Uh, first franchise to win a World Series on a home run in the seventh game, the nineteen sixty World Series. Wow. The only other team to accomplish this feat is the Toronto Blue Jays in ninety three. In game six, the Pirates are the first team in professional sports. We’re talking pro sports in the US to have twenty consecutive losing seasons. This streak was from ninety three to twenty twelve. This is the longest streak as mentioned in North American professional sports history. Yeah, yeah, that’s really bad. When I looked at their records since two thousand, they have a forty five percent win percentage. And I thought the Rockies would be the worst. But the Rockies from ninety three on when they were founded were forty six percent. So they are right in line. That’s like Brown’s level bad. Yeah. And they at least made the World Series. I want to say they lost to like the Yankees in like the twenty ten ish somewhere around there. Speaking of playoffs, since two thousand, Pittsburgh Pirates have only been to the playoffs three times and only four winning seasons since two thousand. Mhm. Woof. That is the Pittsburgh Pirates. Trevor. That’s really bad. And yeah, the last time they got to the playoffs was when we beat them in the wild card in twenty fifteen. So yeesh. They’re lovable. They have really cool Uniforms. Uh, when I played Little League, we won a championship as a Pittsburgh Pirates, and we felt dope going out in our All Blacks in the one hundred and ten degree heat in Texas. But we did really well. So shout out to Pittsburgh. You’re absolutely welcome here at MSC. That’s right. That concludes our deep dive as well as our episode here at Misery Sports Co. Thank you again for joining. Um, give us a subscription, a follow whatever you want to call it at X at Misery Sports Co, uh, on our website misery sports co dot com. You can follow us on any of the major podcast sites, Apple, Spotify, pocket casts, you name it, we’re there. I’m Zack and I’m Trevor. We’ll see you next week because misery loves company.